In this modern age of unemployment and uncertainty I am actively chucking my job away. Am I insane? Probably...
Despite working in retail for a very long time, this isn't my life. It never has been and I don't think it ever could be. In my heart I have always been a writer. Right since I was a child of three or four and started forming my letters. And I need to give the possibility of earning a living as a writer, everything I have got or I am never ever going to settle into life.
Since leaving uni almost three years ago, I have always felt as if I have been waiting for my life to begin. I thought something would have happened by now to make me feel as if I had a place in the world. But nothing has come about. I have halfheartedly applied for jobs and not even received interviews and all the while gone a little crazy in retail. It is time for my life to change.
The thing is, young people are brainwashed into believing that their dreams don't matter. You have to get a 'proper job' - preferably something boring and hard that will suck all the joy out of life and place you in an office from 7am-9pm every day. Otherwise your life is basically not worth living.
News flash for you though - your life, young person reading this, can be exactly what you want it to be. Obviously you need a bit of money to survive. But other than that, you can do what you like. You should never place someone else's expectations for your life above your own.
Basically what I am saying is, if you want to travel, travel. If you want to get married and have kids, go ahead. If you want a 9-5 career in the city, do that. And if you want to write, bloody hell go and write. Right now. Why not?
That's what I said to myself about 6 weeks ago. Two days later, I had handed in my notice. Now the day is finally here (as I publish this I am about to start my final shift) and I am surprisingly apprehensive. Yes I know that this is the right thing to do and I NEED to give writing my attention full time. But my retail job has always been a little comfort blanket for me. A safety net that I can use to blame my lack of success in getting published. When I take that away it will just be me and my ambition to be a published novelist. That's really scary. But exciting too. Who knows what could happen in a week, a month, a year, 10 years... This is a new chapter and I hope it is going to be a great one. Whatever happens though, I know that it is an essential one and my life is going to be better because of it.
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