Sunday, 28 October 2012

HELP!

As a hugely underconfident person, I need people. People (specifically my close friends and family) keep me sane. And they affect me in huge ways, often without even knowing it. Sometimes for good and sometimes for bad. I am the first to admit, I read into things far too much The reason I do it, is to protect myself and does actually make me quite a good judge of character, but I probably end up freaking myself out more which makes me more and more upset.

I try so hard not to care...specifically not to care about what others think of me and not to care about people I shouldn't. But it's so hard. The way I am made I can't do it. I will literally do anything for my friends. I always put them first and, if one of them wants to meet up or needs me in some way, I will drop everything to do as they want: whether that's academic work or whatever... whereas they wouldn't necessarily do the same for me. So I feel like I should stop doing that but I can't because I have this ingrained instinct to try and please everyone at my own expense.

And another problem I have...is falling in love with my male friends. Well, I say falling in love, I don't really know what love is. But anyway...whatever, I need to stop doing that. Because friends are normally off limits aren't they? And I have done it so many times. And I don't know why. It doesn't make sense because I know they are unavailable/out of bounds and they know what an idiot I am, so why do I put myself through this? All the time.

What I hate more than anything is waiting for people. People who are ultimately going to let me down in some way or another. People who will organise to meet up and then go back on it. People who say they want to do something and then don't have time to. So I am going to stop waiting and relying on other people and live my own life the way I want to. Do what I want to do when I want to do it. Whether that's something as small as going to the cinema or as big as going travelling or moving. Is the only person I can rely on, myself? Or am I going to end up lonely? Time will tell...

Like what I say? (And I promise it's normally not as emotional as this)

And if you have any answers for me...please comment below...much appreciated =]

Friday, 19 October 2012

Studenty life

Even though I started off so well with this blog, two months later I am slacking - sorry. But carry on reading anyway. Reread my old posts if you like/ haven't already...they are interesting because I am a very interesting person. But I have one thing to blame for my lack of activity- university.

The worst thing is, work hasn't even properly started yet. Yes I have a few essays to do, but I am one of those typical students who has two months to do an essay but, of course, leaves it until the night before. I also only have three lectures a week. So what have I been up to the rest of the time...

Well, just to make you jealous, in the past three weeks I have....

been out clubbing 6 times.
been to the pub pretty much every day
seen one celebrity do a DJ set at my local union
coerced fresher's into joining my society
helped run and sort a society
lost my IPhone
had a nervous breakdown
found IPhone
spent far too much money on clothes
bought no food whatsoever (and not yet used the hob in my new house)
been to one house party in London
been to London three times
had my brother come to stay
written four articles for my student newspaper
seen filmings of two TV programmes at the BBC
met two celebrities (one in a club, one out shopping)

PRETTY HECTIC. Who says student life isn't hard?? But I have decided enough is enough and it's time for me to settle down. Therefore from Sunday, I am going to get ahead with my essays, go back to writing my novel, stop drinking and MOST IMPORTANTLY update this blog with something interesting. If you would like me to expand on anything from the list above, let me know...if not, just hang on for a few more days for my little pearls of wisdom. Laters guysssssss

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