Wednesday, 23 April 2014

Who to avoid in the library

Although it might not seem obvious but this is definitely part of my stress buster series that I have been writing over the past few weeks. First of all, by ranting about these stupid people, it is busting my personal stress that came to a head today. Secondly, it stops you from making the mistakes that I have done recently and therefore destroys your stress caused by the Freshers, ahead of it even arriving. Aren't I kind??

So if you find yourself sitting next to one of the following people, make sure you move as quickly as you can...

The one who comes in with a group of friends
This is the first and most important type of student to avoid. If a group of people come in and surround you, you must move away at once. They will talk, giggle, chuck notes at each other, get up and down and generally be distracting. They are most likely to be freshers, who are attempting to get through their first 'big assignment' with the moral support of everyone on their year, and they haven't yet worked out that even though the library is opposite to the students union, this is not an extension of their social area.

The one looking pretty
If someone has come in wearing their best dress, has perfect hair and are fully made up, you can tell at once they are not here to do any work. Only people who have bags under their eyes and their hair in dreadlocks from where they have been clutching it in frustration, are suitable companions...

The one with food
You do not under any circumstances want to be tainted with the possible suspicion of being the owner of the food, thus incurring the wrath of the librarians. Who knew that such sweet looking old people could be such dragons? Plus, why does food always involve packets?? The other day I was the table along from someone was eating salt vinegar crisps at 10am. Who has crisps for breakfast? It was just so loud and stunk out the whole floor.

The one who comes in alone
They WILL ask you to watch their laptop on the hour, every hour while they 'go to the toilet.' Like seriously, do they have a weak bladder or something? And do they really expect you to go chasing after the thief if one happened to wander by...come on.

The one who doesn't immediately put their headphones in
They are clearly not a library veteran and don't understand the protocol that we all go into our own little bubbles...on top of that there is a large risk that they will start talking at some point. And if they don't understand the protocol yet, as I suspect, the whisper will not be quiet enough.

The one who sits down next to a plug with no laptop
Again, this person is clearly a library newbie and doesn't understand the etiquette. With the lack of plugs and plenty of available tables, that's just plain rude

The one who drops off a pile of notes, asks you to watch their laptop and then comes back with a teetering pile of books
It might sound harmless enough, but they are going to encroach on your space in a big way. Papers are spread around you, your banging your arm on a book, and you have to keep on taking out your headphones to say 'Yes, I will watch your laptop' while they go off to get a few more books to add to the pile. And one at some point will fall on you, for sure. On top of that, it is most likely a fresher as they haven't learnt yet, that it's all about online journals and just not acceptable to reference that rather fascinatingly beautiful book from 1688. So get out of there quick, you will be pushed out before too long anyway.

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