Sunday, 23 November 2014

Dos and Don'ts of Tinder - An essential guide for men


Continuing along the dating theme that I seem to have going on here, I thought I would spend a little time talking about Tinder. This online dating app has been around for a couple of years but really took off at the end of last year. It has now been rumoured to have over 10 million active users. That's a lot of singletons, I had no idea there were so many.

Lots of my friends turn their nose up at it: those in relationships see it as online dating which still has a huge 'YOU ARE A LOSER' stamp attached to it. While those who are single, see it as just a last resort, where all the rejects accumulate to have some kind of massive orgy. I however think it is absolutely hilarious. And, if nothing else, it is the best ego boost in the world. Seriously, give it a try. When you are down, it is a great way of seeing that someone, somewhere finds you attractive.

I have had Tinder since the end of January, although I have only used it for about 6 of those 10 months (I stopped while I was dating people, like the good girl I am). During that time, I have noticed some patterns starting to emerge in the quality of individuals' profiles and the likeliehood of me swiping right. So all you single guys out there, take a look at these little tips I have compiled to ensure that a girl might actually consider you.

Do choose your pictures carefully
Tinder is linked to your Faceebook and therefore you have hundreds of photos at your disposal yet sometimes people really do not think their pictures through. If you put a picture of the back of your head, how the hell do we know what you look like? Or of the side of your face? Or if a stupid mask is obscuring your face? Be sensible about it.

Don't include a picture of a tiger
You might think you are being unique. You are not. And sitting with your arm around a sedated tiger does not mean we automatically assume you are well travelled and quirky.

Do include a picture with a baby/child
Men who are good with children are hot. It's wired into our basic DNA. If you don't have a child to hand, puppies also work.

Don't include selfies
Especially ones where you are holding up your T shirt. Yes you may have nice abs but you just seem vain. It is a good idea to have one picture alone though. If all of them, have massive groups of people in, I am not going to bother playing spot the difference between them to attempt to work out who you actually are.

Do have more than one picture
We like to know you are a real human being and haven't just lifted your singular picture from the internet. At least make the effort to lift a few.

Don't have a picture with another girl
We are jealous, slightly territorial and competitive. Even if she is your sister, we will assume the worst so it's safer not to have any other females in your pictures. Because we will automatically deduce that you are still clearly in love with her and she is far prettier than us anyway so there is no point in liking you at all.

Do pay attention to the bio
Don't ask us questions that we have already bothered to type out once. God, you can at least read can't you?

Don't ask us 'how are you?'
Errrr fine...thanks for asking. You however are boring. Ask us something interesting. I once had someone give me a test to see whether they would ask me out for a drink. A little weird, but actually quite fun and it is a very effective way to see whether we had anything in common. Apparently, we didn't.

Do message first
Females only ever message you if they drunk or being egged on by their friends. Or both. If you fancy her, tell her.

Don't spend months messaging us
Contrary to popular belief of older generations, we do actually like proper communication. And we also like to know you are real. And we slightly enjoy being wine and dined. Take us out. If you are nice enough, we will probably sleep with you.

Don't be creepy
This includes asking us where we live, if we have any fit friends, or making lurid sexual comments.

Don't ask us if we have whatsapp
We are not stupid. We know the only way you can have our whatsapp is if we give you our number. Just be upfront about it and ask us for our number.

Don't take it too seriously
We are fully aware that Tinder is for just one thing. Yet we are still here. You don't need to tiptoe around us.


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