Tuesday, 16 February 2016
Why I am currently dating myself
As if Christmas wasn't bad enough, we now have to get through another day full of love while people in happy partnerships put vomit-inducing pictures on Facebook.
I have been told on more than one occasion, that simply because I don't like the commercialisation that Valentines Day has undertaken, I am clearly a jealous bitter person who is unbelievably desperate to be in a relationship. I assure you, I am very much not.
You may be surprised to hear this -- I am actually happily single. I think we are a bit of a rare breed these days. But it's 100% true. Sure, I wouldn't say no to a relationship if the right guy came along, but I am not crying myself to sleep every night because there is no one lying in bed next to me.
Since last May-ish, I have been on a bit of what I call a 'Man-Ban'. Throughout university and the 8 months after graduation, I dated a number of people. A huge number actually. I had plenty of little things that never really amounted to much but which started frying my brain. And around May, I'd had enough. Dating just wasn't fun any more, and worse than that, it was making me feel rubbish about myself to quite a dangerous degree. My self-confidence had dropped further than it ever had before and it was time I took my life back into my own hands.
Because the thing is, you don't need a man or anybody else to give you self-worth. This was what I was relying on for far too long and when I began my Man-Ban I finally felt that I should take back control of my own happiness. I shouldn't have to rely on whether this guy actually text me back, or this guy said I was pretty, or this one got his arse around to meeting me. I needed to find out how to make myself happy.
Which is what I have been working on solidly for almost a year now. Happiness is such an important part of our lives (frankly it makes life worth living!) yet somehow it always gets pushed into the background. Which is just plain wrong. It should be our priority.
Since my Man-Ban I have really chilled out. I do the things I want to do, work on achieving my ambitions and hang out with my friends. And that's all I really need. The love thing will happen one day I hope, but I am at an age now where I am bored of little flash-in-the-pan things. And if I do open up to a guy, he can jolly well treat me fabulously or he just isn't worth my time. As the cliché always says, now I have stopped looking for it, I am sure love is just around the corner.
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