Wednesday, 13 April 2016

Tea and Me

Recently I have been on a bit of regime to introduce more positivity into my life and on to my blog as well. And I had a MAJOR realisation. I haven't talked about the biggest joy there is in life, on the blog at all.

Tea.

Wonderful tea.

I suggest if you don't like tea, you stop reading now. Because this post is going to be full of it. Also, I am not sure we can be friends. Tea is kind of essential to life and a bit of a big deal so if you are not going to even consider it, I am not sure how much we are going to have in common.

I'm only joking. But seriously. Tea = important.

I have noticed (well... certain colleagues have recently pointed out to me) that over the years I seem to have acquired a very particular set of habits and hang ups surrounding tea. Which I thought I would share for your amusement!

I do think that this is potentially THE most British post I have ever written!

1. Herbal/fruit/green tea does not count as real tea
They are all so gross and anyone who says they are a tea-drinker yet this is all they drink...well you don't make the cut I am afraid. Tea is a brown lovely liquid which makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Other forms of tea do not have the same effect.

2. I actually get quite angry with fruit teas
Why do you smell so good and taste SO bad?! I dislike you a lot.

3. Peppermint tea is kind of magic
I do slightly exempt peppermint tea from number 2. Because it is a miracle worker. It solves everything: aches and pains and sore throats and stomach aches...anything you can throw at it basically.

4. There should be no sugar in tea! 
I would have no teeth left if I put sugar into every single mug of tea I consumed.

5. And milk should be minimal
These people who dunk the tea bag in for two seconds, take it straight out and then pour in half a pint of milk and 5 sugars...that is not tea. That is milk and sugar and water. You are not a real tea drinker.

6.Tea should be properly brewed
There are two ways you can reach the appropriate level of brew. Either you can leave the tea alone for around five minutes so the brewing has a proper amount of time to take place (this has the added bonus of the tea then being the correct temperature to immediately start drinking once it is ready) OR you can simply leave the teabag in. Either are acceptable.

7. Teacups should only be used if you are having afternoon tea 
This is pretty self explanatory. Teacups are lovely occasionally but you wouldn't consume the correct amount of tea if you always used them.

8. Mugs are the best way to drink tea!
They have to be rounded, bigger than your fist and be able to fit your hands around them. A big handle is also necessary.

9. Morning and Post-Work tea are essential
I will never say no to a cup of tea but all others are optional and I see them as a bonus. Only those two cups are necessary for the well-being myself and all those around me.


10. One mug of tea can give you roughly 1000 words of productivity
Ish. Obviously there are various other conditions that effect this, but on average this is how much writing I can do whilst sipping my tea.

11. Biscuits are acceptable accompaniments to tea.
Dunking however is not. I don't understand those people who like to have bits of biscuit as an added feature.

12. Tea and cake is the best 
And of course, you could add scones if you wanted to go the whole hog.


13. Drinking tea at mealtimes is risky
It's best to leave it separate really. Breakfast is obviously ok - things like toast or cereal. But if you are thinking about lunch or dinner, I wouldn't bother. Mixing temperatures (eg. a cup of a tea and a salad) is not cool. Stick to cake and biscuits if you want to be safe.  

14. And the best brand of tea? Yorkshire!
Obviously. PG Tips and Twinings are ok too! Supermarket brands are not.

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