I was looking in the mirror, doing my makeup (this is the only point in my day that I actually spend any time looking at my face) and it hit me that I am going to be 24. 24!!! That is kind of old. Not actually old. But the kind of old where you should start getting your sh*t together (scuse my French). And mine is very much not together. Mine is very much all over the place.
My thought process then moved on to the physical effects of being another year older. And yes there aren't many but I do notice a few more lines on the face, the odd grey hair appearing (although I am not sure if it was actually a blonde bit. My hair is kinda weird in certain lights/sections) and crinkles appearing when I smile or laugh or talk. Or sneeze. Or do nothing.
And the next progression was this - I found myself, subconsciously and without even really thinking about it, listing out the things I don't like about my face. My thick eyebrows that take SO MUCH EFFORT to stop them from invading the rest of my face, the bags under my eyes, my teeth which aren't quite even, my thin eyelashes and hair and every other undesirable feature. Believe me the list went on for ages.
It made me wonder though, why was it that I 'hated' myself so much? Where have I got this unrealistic, unattainable idea of beauty from?
I blame it on the media (like I blame everything else wrong in this country). But this time I might be justified.
They fill our heads and all our various screens with perfect people. Who are perfectly ordinary people too, yet they happen to have their imperfections edited out and the resulting image is what the rest of us aspire to be.
Those people, the people with the clear skin, the flawless teeth, hair, eyes, bodies, life...it is all a lie. A fairytale that we couldn't achieve if we wanted to and hasn't even been achieved by the people who are paraded in front of our faces all day long.
Part of my aim for my 24th year, starting tomorrow, is to appreciate what I have. To stop comparing myself to all those celebrities who have a team of make-up artists and photoshoppers presenting them as perfect. How boring would the world be if we all look the same anyway? It is time that I take back my face as my own and just deal with it. After all, this is what I have been given. And to be honest, it doesn't really matter what I look like, does it? It's not me that has to look at it all day!
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